Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
