apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
