I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
