the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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