He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
