My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
