there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
