Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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