I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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