Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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