Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
