we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
