Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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