I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My cat gives me a boner
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
