I love black thongs
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
