the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
