I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
