you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
