your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I didn't shave. On purpose
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
