I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
