I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
