Don't you send me to vm
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
