I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
