Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
