I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
