What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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