my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
