I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
