I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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