im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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