we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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