i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
