The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
