is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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