the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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