she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
