Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
try to milk me bitch
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
