So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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