i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
