I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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