Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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