omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
