It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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