Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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