I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
