So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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