so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
