Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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