Need sex. Gaining weight.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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