Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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