Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
