just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
