Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
